PROJECTS

I continue to make progress.  It might appear to be slow going, but it's coming along pretty quick!  I am excited to get this finished!

I have also been working on making my house feel less like a rental and more like a home...that too is slow going.  

But I have decided to take a big empty wall in my dining room and make a J wall.  I got the idea from a friend who collects the letter T (it's what her last name starts with) and I loved it.  I hope as I add J's I will feel like we are in a home and not a house.

FINISHED!!!!

After working hard, and trying to get it done I finished it!!!! Oh happy day!!!

Not the best picture ever, but I am excited it is finished!  Another project crossed off my list!

With ever finished project I feel a weight lifting of my shoulders!

TYPE A.........

I learned many years ago that I am not a type A personality........In fact I am the farthest thing away from being type A that is makes me mad.  I am sloppy, messy, disorganized, no schedule for anything, spare of the moment kind of thing.  For example at 5:30 pm I think, "oh wow it's 5:30 maybe I should figure out something for dinner."  It is not healthy, it is frustrating because not only do I hate cooking, I am not good at it, so usually while babies are crying for dinner the girls are fighting me with doing homework or being helpful, I am trying to figure something out.  Once dinner is on the table I usually get looks and comments of how gross it is or that only 5 bites will be eaten.......

Oh my desk....you mean the piece of wood holding my computer and piles of paper that "I will get to when kids go to bed"  Or what about the laundry...I think that basket is clean...or wait was that the dirty basket?  Or my mounds of projects I have started and one day maybe one day I will finish.

When I was younger this did not bother me, but now with 4 kids and a crazy house not having a routine, or a clean home, it is stressful and I am teaching my kids bad habits that I cannot stand in myself...and to see them picking them up.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So to my type A super organized have a plan and a schedule and are ready to tackle the world....I am envious.

I was talking to my mom the other day and I was venting to her about no matter what I do, how hard I try, what great idea I put into place to help I cannot get on top of it.  I was so proud of myself.  I cleaned out the babies closet and drawers and vacuumed and cleaned, than I moved onto the older girls room.  I was feeling really good about myself!  I went to the toy room which also serves as the sewing room, hang out room, pretty  much where we live room and looked around and started that room.  Filled up a box to give to charity of stuff and made a lot of progress.  I was vacuuming everyday as we have 2 dogs, live in the desert and have a crawler.  Than 2 days went by where we were just not home and busy and everything else happened, and all 3 rooms looked like a tornado followed by a bomb went off.  WHAT....ARE YOU JOKING?  WHAT HAPPENED?

I am so exhausted of the constant trying to catch up and get on top of...that I have given up.  I get on top of it in one area and lose control someplace else than while trying to stay on top of that area and than get a handle on the disaster some place else I feel like I am running circles.  

I am now in love with the phrase "less is more", but as I have been clearing out and downsizing I am realizing how much more I have to go...at what point do I get to enjoy the "less is more" phase?  

Anyways, instead of venting and complaining I should probably actually focus on making head way on the piece of wood holding my computer and piles of "I will get to it when the kids are in bed" piles of mail and bring home papers from school!

STITCHING.....SO MANY.........

......Projects!

On Monday nights while my 2 older girls are in ballet, I sit in my van and I stitch.  I keep a smaller project in my van so when ever I have to wait in my car for a long period of time I can pull it out and stitch.  

This is my current van project that I am working on for my mom....she only bought the pattern and floss about 3 years ago....I am hoping to have it done by Christmas time for her.

Even though I have several larger projects at home I am trying to finish this one....

This is a birth sampler (not technically but I am turning it into one). For my daughter that will be 2 in a few months.  I started it when I was about 14 weeks pregnant with her.....I am hoping to have it done soon it has a ton of half squares and I am not a huge fan of those...it also has quite a bit of back stitching and even though that goes quick, but again not my favorite! 

Any progress is good and finishing a project late is better than never!

DO I NEED MORE........

than one blog?  So I am not the best at blogging and I wish I was better, but between 4 kids, a husband who works 6 days a week any where from 2 hours a day up to 12 hours a day.....2 of my kids are in all day school, 2 of my kids are home with me all day....my house is a constant mess and I have a pile of unfished projects.......so life is crazy out of control and even though I want to sit and blog often, by the time I get to that point of my day or get the few minutes of quiet, the last thing on my mind is to blog, or post pictures or whatever because I a gazillion things that need my attention and I only get a little bit of time without little fingers helping me or someone needing me.

So back to my question sometimes I feel like I need a blog for the daily things, the things we did, silly things my kids say or do, how hard mommy hood is, etc.  I need a blog about church and hints we discussed and my thoughts about Sunday lessons or venting about why did I come to church today.  But I also do a lot of counted cross stitching so it would be nice to have a blog that focuses on my progress or completed projects.  But if I do one for counted cross stitching than I need in for my quilts and crochet....but what about my general sewing, you know skirts, dresses, pillow cases, bags,  things like that, should that be its own blog?

When I mix all of these things together I feel like my blog is a scattered crazy, has no direction type blog, but than again only having one blog is a great reflection of how my life is....no direction, scatter brained, no origination type life, which for some is quite funny, but more often than drives me nuts....


So should I have more than 1 blog or just organize my blog better or leave it as is so it is an accurate portrayal of my current station in life?

PARENTHOOD.....IS IT WORTH IT?

***I created this post early in the summer and due to craziness and life, I just found it again***

I often hear phrases along the lines of

"Enjoy this time of your life it goes fast"

"Motherhood is the most rewarding experience"

"There is a lot of joy in being a mom"

I am sure there are many more, but all of them are along these lines.  And I have to agree for the most part.  I look at my oldest daughter and think there is no way she will be turning 7 this summer!  I swear I just brought her home from the hospital and I was trying to figure out how to bath a newborn.

This was taken a shortly after we brought her home.  We were in Heaven,  life could not get any better than this. 

Almost 7 years later.....

Are you kidding me?  When did this happen?  When did she get to be this age?  

She is strong, stubborn, smart, beautiful, loving, obnoxious, beats to her own drum, confident, thoughtful, loud....and herself.  I sure do love even though on a daily basis she pushes boundaries, pushes my buttons, I end up frustrated with her.  She has taught me so much and continues to teach me on a daily basis.

Looking at how much she is grown this time has gone fast, but at the end of the day when I look around and see that my house is a disaster, my sink full of dishes, baskets for clothes that I am not sure if they are clean or dirty, sticky floors, I lost my temper with one of the children, I became overwhelmed by noise, look at the bank and see we are still broke.  I wonder is parenthood really worth it?  

I fantasize what my life would be like if it were just Jeff and I.  Would I be working?  Would we have a lot more money?  Would we be out of debt?  Would we have purchased a house by now?  Would we be living in a loft apartment over businesses? (A dream of mine to do)  Would our house be clean? This list can go on for a mile of how would my life be different?  

Do I miss the single life?  Absolutely!!! Do I miss the nights of being able to climb into bed at 7 pm and not feel guilty?  Of course!  Do I miss living by myself and having no one to answer too?  Of for sure!  Would I like to be able to sit and craft for hours on end and not be interrupted to make dinner or helping a child?  No doubt!  

As we were preparing to make a huge move, my in-laws took my 3 kids (at the time I was pregnant with #4) for a few days so I could fulfill some responsibilities I had committed too and so Jeff and I could focus on packing.  We were climbing into bed and the apartment was so quiet. We looked at each other and tried to remember what it was like before kids and what we did.  We both agreed that life was boring.  We are used to the chaos, the noise, the constant little fingers, that not having that  we were bored.

Sure parenthood brings on stress, noise, confusing, frustration, tension, anxiety........and sure we have the days of I wish I did not have kids and life would be so much easier. But in the long run I am so grateful that I am able to have kids and that I do have four amazing children.  As I teach them they teach me.  As I learn to love, they are learning to love.  I would never trade what my struggles are for a life without kids.  

Pet Peeves

Today as I sat at my desk and was trying to get things done I realized 2 things.  

1) that there are days when being an adult/parent really sucks.....like really sucks big time.  Today was one of those days.  Trying to make phones to take care of insurance and stuff. I ask my questions and then they say we have to transfer you just to be told that I have to do X Y Z to take care of situation A, oh and did you know you had to have form B filled out by the 15th.  

2) I have many small pet peeves, however, one of my biggest pet peeves is being disorganized.  I hate it when I go into someone's office and it is a mess and they cannot find anything.  Yet that is how my home office is.......AND I HATE IT!!! But yet for some reason I cannot seem to get organized.  I try and try and try and try and I just can't do it.  And not just my home office, but my house in general. I know that it takes 30 seconds to clean up after lunch but yet lunch dishes are still sitting out and not getting done.....I could on and on about how disorganized I am and most people will say, your a mom it's ok, and it might be to some extent, but I have been disorganized and messy my entire life.  

Being disorganized takes me back to point one, that getting organized and trying to be on top of it all reminds me of how much being a grown up can suck sometimes!!

A Time and a Season

 So there is a phrase I hate and when I say hate I mean it is like nails down a chalk board.....makes me want to shout at who said it and say SHUT UP.....raises my frustration level beyond boiling....I hate it when people tell me that there is a time and season for all things.......

However, as I gain wisdom for learning what it means to be a good mom, as my days are now filled with changing poppy diapers, getting kids on and off the bus, trying to keep a clean and organized house, and supporting my husband with his hard work to provide for the family; I am learning how true that statement is.  It does not change my feelings about when people say it though.

When it is said I instantly look around at other moms that have kids the same age as mine, or at least close in age, my thoughts jump to "how is it they can  go to the gym, have a clean house, sit i front of their of their sewing machine for hours on end, their house is amazingly decorated, look at all of the crafts they get done......but I can't". 

After I think about that I get the gentle reminder that their circumstances, even though similar, is different than mine.  I don't know what sacrifices that they have had to make to be where they are today. I don't know what their desires are, or what they wish they had time to do, maybe they look at me and say think to themselves, it's not fair that she gets to........(whatever it is they think). 

As I learn about the sacrifices my mom has made and continues to make to be the mom that she is. I realize that part of being a good mom is giving up some of my desires and wants to put my children first and to accept the fact that time for me will be hard to come by for many years to come.  I am not saying that it is a bad thing. But just another adjustment in life.  Life is all about changing to become a better person, develop talents, however, it does not make it any easier to accept the fact that there is a season and time for everything.