Wednesday, May 6, 2015


***I created this post early in the summer and due to craziness and life, I just found it again***

I often hear phrases along the lines of

"Enjoy this time of your life it goes fast"
"Motherhood is the most rewarding experience"
"There is a lot of joy in being a mom"

I am sure there are many more, but all of them are along these lines.  And I have to agree for the most part.  I look at my oldest daughter and think there is no way she will be turning 7 this summer!  I swear I just brought her home from the hospital and I was trying to figure out how to bath a newborn.

This was taken a shortly after we brought her home.  We were in Heaven,  life could not get any better than this. 

Almost 7 years later.....

Are you kidding me?  When did this happen?  When did she get to be this age?  

She is strong, stubborn, smart, beautiful, loving, obnoxious, beats to her own drum, confident, thoughtful, loud....and herself.  I sure do love even though on a daily basis she pushes boundaries, pushes my buttons, I end up frustrated with her.  She has taught me so much and continues to teach me on a daily basis.

Looking at how much she is grown this time has gone fast, but at the end of the day when I look around and see that my house is a disaster, my sink full of dishes, baskets for clothes that I am not sure if they are clean or dirty, sticky floors, I lost my temper with one of the children, I became overwhelmed by noise, look at the bank and see we are still broke.  I wonder is parenthood really worth it?  

I fantasize what my life would be like if it were just Jeff and I.  Would I be working?  Would we have a lot more money?  Would we be out of debt?  Would we have purchased a house by now?  Would we be living in a loft apartment over businesses? (A dream of mine to do)  Would our house be clean? This list can go on for a mile of how would my life be different?  

Do I miss the single life?  Absolutely!!! Do I miss the nights of being able to climb into bed at 7 pm and not feel guilty?  Of course!  Do I miss living by myself and having no one to answer too?  Of for sure!  Would I like to be able to sit and craft for hours on end and not be interrupted to make dinner or helping a child?  No doubt!  

As we were preparing to make a huge move, my in-laws took my 3 kids (at the time I was pregnant with #4) for a few days so I could fulfill some responsibilities I had committed too and so Jeff and I could focus on packing.  We were climbing into bed and the apartment was so quiet. We looked at each other and tried to remember what it was like before kids and what we did.  We both agreed that life was boring.  We are used to the chaos, the noise, the constant little fingers, that not having that  we were bored.

Sure parenthood brings on stress, noise, confusing, frustration, tension, anxiety........and sure we have the days of I wish I did not have kids and life would be so much easier. But in the long run I am so grateful that I am able to have kids and that I do have four amazing children.  As I teach them they teach me.  As I learn to love, they are learning to love.  I would never trade what my struggles are for a life without kids.  

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