MARCH TUSAL/ORT

It may not look like I have added much over the last month, but I have.  I have my stitching mojo again and it seems like all I want to do is stitch stitch stitch......I am hoping to get 5 projects done this year.  Hopefully more, but 5 is my goal.  Some of them are large projects.

http://itsdaffycat.blogspot.com/2016/01/the-totally-useless-stitch-long-2016.html

Am I Broken?

I sure hope not!

I know that I am not supposed to compare myself to others, I know I am not supposed to listen to the thoughts that Satan puts in my head, I know that right now my most important job is to raise my family and set an example for my kids of a loving home and how a marriage is supposed to work, but why do I feel so lost?  Why do I feel so overwhelmed?  Why does I feel like my efforts are not making a difference?  Why is it that I loose my temper at the drop of a hat?

I know I am not the only one that feels this way, some days that brings me great comfort.  Some days I sigh a big sigh of relief because I see other moms with kids my age look overwhelmed and are frustrated with their station in life, with the state of their house, with the final NO comes out as a yell and kids sulk away and pout and say things like "your the worst mom EVER"!

HOWEVER, other days there is no comfort in those, I find no comfort when someone else's house looks like an atomic bomb went off, or when their kids had cold cereal for the 3rd night in a row for dinner, or that they are having to dig through hampers of clean clothes to find a pair socks.

Everyday I wake thinking, today is going to be different, today I am going to get my kitchen cleaned, including scrubbing the floors, today is the day that ALL my laundry will be washed folded and put away, today is the day.........(insert whatever project, goal, task that needs to be done).  However, by the time the babies lay down for their nap and I focus on a few things, like getting things ready for taxes, and the babies wake up than its time for lunch, shortly after the big kids are home from school, than it is dinner time, and than the house falls apart with whiny kids, screaming, mom it's not fair........I throw my hands up and think.  Did I get anything done other than breaking up yet another yelling fight between kids, or comfort the crawler that just got whacked in the head again with a toy by the toddler.....Why do I even try?

I know I am not broken, but more often than not I feel broken, I feel lost, I feel that my efforts do not amount to anything, I feel like I am setting a bad example for my girls, I feel like I am loosing the battle, I feel all alone!

February ORT

Well, I took the picture on time and posted it to my Instagram account, but for some reason I am late posting it here......4 kids and a crazy week have nothing to do with it.........but here it is.  I have been working on 7 or 8 different stichings and normally I like to post my progress too....but not this month.

So I have been cleaning out my extra floss as well as organizing floss for projects.  I have a gallon size bag of the extra left over floss from projects and from people giving me floss.  It's insane and I am trying to figure out what to do with it all.....any ideas?

If you are wondering what a TUSAL and ORT's are follow this link and to learn about it and join the fun.  http://itsdaffycat.blogspot.com/

JANUARY -TUSAL ORT

Last year I took some time off from participating, life got the best of me, but this year I am determined to get a few stitchings crossed off my list.  So here is to the first month!!!

http://itsdaffycat.blogspot.com/2016/01/the-totally-useless-stitch-long-2016.html

I wish I could say I have been stitching that much, but I was cleaning up my stitching bag and this is floss that was crumbling as I touched so I shoved it in my jar.....

Here is my progress on a project that I am hoping to have finished soon!

PROJECTS

I continue to make progress.  It might appear to be slow going, but it's coming along pretty quick!  I am excited to get this finished!

I have also been working on making my house feel less like a rental and more like a home...that too is slow going.  

But I have decided to take a big empty wall in my dining room and make a J wall.  I got the idea from a friend who collects the letter T (it's what her last name starts with) and I loved it.  I hope as I add J's I will feel like we are in a home and not a house.

FINISHED!!!!

After working hard, and trying to get it done I finished it!!!! Oh happy day!!!

Not the best picture ever, but I am excited it is finished!  Another project crossed off my list!

With ever finished project I feel a weight lifting of my shoulders!

TYPE A.........

I learned many years ago that I am not a type A personality........In fact I am the farthest thing away from being type A that is makes me mad.  I am sloppy, messy, disorganized, no schedule for anything, spare of the moment kind of thing.  For example at 5:30 pm I think, "oh wow it's 5:30 maybe I should figure out something for dinner."  It is not healthy, it is frustrating because not only do I hate cooking, I am not good at it, so usually while babies are crying for dinner the girls are fighting me with doing homework or being helpful, I am trying to figure something out.  Once dinner is on the table I usually get looks and comments of how gross it is or that only 5 bites will be eaten.......

Oh my desk....you mean the piece of wood holding my computer and piles of paper that "I will get to when kids go to bed"  Or what about the laundry...I think that basket is clean...or wait was that the dirty basket?  Or my mounds of projects I have started and one day maybe one day I will finish.

When I was younger this did not bother me, but now with 4 kids and a crazy house not having a routine, or a clean home, it is stressful and I am teaching my kids bad habits that I cannot stand in myself...and to see them picking them up.....ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

So to my type A super organized have a plan and a schedule and are ready to tackle the world....I am envious.

I was talking to my mom the other day and I was venting to her about no matter what I do, how hard I try, what great idea I put into place to help I cannot get on top of it.  I was so proud of myself.  I cleaned out the babies closet and drawers and vacuumed and cleaned, than I moved onto the older girls room.  I was feeling really good about myself!  I went to the toy room which also serves as the sewing room, hang out room, pretty  much where we live room and looked around and started that room.  Filled up a box to give to charity of stuff and made a lot of progress.  I was vacuuming everyday as we have 2 dogs, live in the desert and have a crawler.  Than 2 days went by where we were just not home and busy and everything else happened, and all 3 rooms looked like a tornado followed by a bomb went off.  WHAT....ARE YOU JOKING?  WHAT HAPPENED?

I am so exhausted of the constant trying to catch up and get on top of...that I have given up.  I get on top of it in one area and lose control someplace else than while trying to stay on top of that area and than get a handle on the disaster some place else I feel like I am running circles.  

I am now in love with the phrase "less is more", but as I have been clearing out and downsizing I am realizing how much more I have to go...at what point do I get to enjoy the "less is more" phase?  

Anyways, instead of venting and complaining I should probably actually focus on making head way on the piece of wood holding my computer and piles of "I will get to it when the kids are in bed" piles of mail and bring home papers from school!